WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? “HUSBAND: “Definitely not! “WIFE: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?” HUSBAND: “Of course I do…” WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry? “HUSBAND: “Okay, okay, I’d get married again.” WIFE: “You would?” (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: “Would you live in our house?” HUSBAND: “Sure, it’s a great house..” WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?” HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?” WIFE: “Would you let her drive my car?” HUSBAND: “Probably, it is almost new.” WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?” HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do..” WIFE: “Would you give her my jewelry?” HUSBAND: “No, I’m sure she’d want her own.” WIFE: “Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: “Yes, those are always good times.” WIFE: “Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.” WIFE: –silence– HUSBAND: “Shit.”